Introverts and Tiredness: How Lifestyle Tweaks Can Boost Your Natural Energy
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The energy puzzle
Let me cut straight to the chase: if you’re waking up tired all the time and finding that no amount of sleep or coffee seems to give you that much-needed energy boost, it might not be just your diet, sleep patterns, or exercise routine that’s to blame. The answer could be a mismatch between your lifestyle and personality type. As someone who spent time battling low energy, this was a major “aha” moment for me—and it might just be the missing piece in your energy puzzle, too.
The spectrum of personality: Introvert vs. Extrovert
Here’s where it gets interesting: personality isn’t black and white. It’s more of a spectrum, and we can move up and down that scale depending on different life factors. You might find that you have both introverted and extroverted traits, and that’s perfectly normal. But understanding where your tendencies lie—whether you lean more towards introversion or extroversion—can provide those much-needed “aha” moments.
For example, I used to think I was somewhere in the middle. But in reality, I was just forcing myself to be more extroverted because society (and my job) demanded it. The result? Chronic exhaustion and a nagging question: “Why am I always tired and have no energy?” It wasn’t until I embraced my introverted nature through reading Quiet by Susan Cain that things changed for the better.
Understanding introvert personality traits
Before we dive into why this mismatch is so draining, let’s talk about what it means to be an introvert. Contrary to popular belief, introversion isn’t about being shy or antisocial. It’s about how you recharge. Introverted personality traits include a love for quiet spaces, deep conversations, and solitary activities. You might find that you need time alone to recharge after a social event, while your extroverted friends seem to gain energy from the same interaction.
In his work Psychological Types, Carl Jung discusses the differences between introverts and extroverts, stating, “introverts have a greater sensitivity to stimulation” [1]. This means that environments with constant noise, multitasking demands, and social interactions can drain your energy quickly. Conversely, extroverts thrive in these high-energy environments, feeling drained when there’s too much quiet or solitude.
Meanwhile, Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in A World That Won’t Stop Talking, explains the difference between introversion and shyness,
“It’s also important to understand that introversion is different from shyness. Shyness is the fear of negative judgement, while introversion is simply the preference for less stimulation. Shyness is inherently uncomfortable; introversion is not.” [2]
The world we live in seems tailor-made for extroverts, starting from the age of four when most of us enter the school system. From day one, we’re thrust into an environment of relentless stimulation—classrooms filled with 30 or more children, constant social interactions, and a steady stream of encouragement from teachers to participate, join in, and be part of the group. And this doesn’t stop at school; it’s a pattern that continues throughout the education system and spills over into the working world. It’s all about groupthink, team meetings, and collaboration—team, team, team.
This constant emphasis on group dynamics can be utterly exhausting for an introvert who thrives on quiet time and solitary reflection.
Signs you may be an introvert
It’s estimated that between 30% to 40% of the population are introverts; while this can only be a guestimate, it does indicate the likelihood you could be amongst that percentage. Not sure if you’re an introvert? Here are some telltale signs:
Social Hangover: You enjoy socialising, but too much of it leaves you feeling drained rather than energised.
Depth Over Breadth: Small talk exhausts you, but you can lose yourself in deep, meaningful conversations for hours.
Alone Time Is Sacred: You need time alone to recharge, whether reading a book, walking, or sitting quietly.
Stimulation Overload: Busy, noisy environments leave you feeling frazzled and desperate for peace and quiet.
You Are Highly Observant: You tend to notice details that others might miss and often reflect deeply on your surroundings and experiences.
If you’re nodding along to these points, guess what? You’re likely more introverted—an absolute win, not a flaw to fix. You’re in stellar company, too. Just look at the lineup: Steven Spielberg, J.K. Rowling, Barack Obama, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, Warren Buffett, and Albert Einstein, to name a few [3]. These legends embraced their introverted superpowers, and look where it got them! So, go ahead and celebrate yourself—you’re in seriously good company.
Would you like to delve deeper into where you land on the introvert vs. extrovert spectrum? Take this QUIZ by Susan Cain—it’s a great starting point to find out.
When your lifestyle doesn’t match your personality
So, what happens when an introvert tries to live like an extrovert for too long? Spoiler alert: it’s not pretty. Imagine trying to power a solar panel midway through a dark, rainy day. That’s exactly what it feels like. You might keep pushing through, but eventually, your energy reserves run dry, leaving you wondering why you wake up tired and no energy seems to stick around.
This was my story many years ago. I was in a job with an open-plan office—phones ringing off the hook, people chatting nonstop, daily meetings, constant conversations. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, to take a break away from the office, I’d need to step out into the bustling streets of Brixton, London, with all its noise and chaos. I’d just keep going without a moment to recharge. There was no chance to block out the noise with headphones (ridiculous office rules), no quiet corner to escape to. For an introvert, this was the fast track to burnout.
Back then, I had no clue that my lifestyle was one of the key culprits behind my constant low energy.
I’ve also seen this many times with clients. They’ve tried everything to boost energy—new diets, exercise regimens, better sleep hygiene—but nothing seems to work. The missing piece? For many, they’re living out of sync with their true nature.
This isn’t just hearsay—science backs it up. While some studies suggest that introverts who adopt extroverted behaviours can experience a temporary boost in mood and energy [4], other research, like a 2020 study in The Journal of Research in Personality, found that when introverts push themselves to act extroverted for too long, they end up feeling fatigued and less vital, ultimately lowering their overall well-being [5].
But here's the clincher: while the science is insightful, the most important research is the kind you conduct on yourself! Pay attention, get curious, and figure out what truly works for you. After all, no one knows your energy better than you do!
How to thrive as an introvert in an extroverted world
Let’s get one thing straight: reclaiming your energy is about more than just making a few tweaks here and there—it’s about practising unapologetic self-care. Putting yourself first becomes much easier when you start learning what drains your energy and discover the habits that help protect this most valuable asset.
Understanding yourself and your energy is empowering. Once you start seeing the benefits of putting yourself first, you’ll wonder why you didn’t start sooner.
So, here are some unapologetic self-care tips to help you thrive as an introvert:
1. Carve Out Quiet Time
Make it a point to carve out a designated time and space to recharge daily. Whether it’s that sacred early morning solitude, a peaceful evening activity, regular breaks throughout the day to disconnect and recharge, or all three, this is non-negotiable for boosting your energy. This is your time, and it’s worth guarding fiercely.
2. Master the Art of Saying No
Many of us have become conditioned to avoid saying no, swept up in the hustle and bustle of life and catering to everyone else’s needs, so we lose sight of ourselves. Even when we recognise our needs, societal expectations can make us feel guilty about prioritising them. But here’s the truth: the best thing you can do—for yourself and everyone around you, especially as an introvert—is confidently saying no when needed.
Learn to say no without the guilt. Whether it’s turning down invites or suggesting more introvert-friendly alternatives, remember: you’re doing what’s best for your well-being. And trust me, the people who matter will get it.
3. Set Boundaries Like a Boss
If you’re stuck in a high-stimulation work environment, it’s time to advocate for yourself. Request a quieter workspace, take those necessary breaks, or suggest remote work options. Your needs are valid, so don’t shy away from asserting them.
By prioritising your well-being, you'll become a more productive and valuable team member. But if your workplace isn't willing to make the necessary adjustments to support you, it might be time to consider whether a job change is the right move.
4. Nurture Your Inner Circle
Instead of spreading yourself thin across a wide social circle, focus on deepening a few close relationships. This way, your interactions will be more meaningful and fulfilling—leaving you feeling recharged rather than depleted.
5. Practise Mindful Downtime
Incorporate calming practices like meditation or yoga into your routine to manage overstimulation. My personal favourite? EFT Tapping. This technique can quickly quiet the mind and help you move into a calmer state. Check out my blog on “How EFT Tapping Can Reduce Stress and Boost Your Energy”—a game-changer.
6. Finding Your Ideal Social Scene
As you shift your mindset and realise that you owe nobody a conversation, you can enjoy activities without the pressure to make small talk. There is a way to live loud without the chit-chat. Take live music gigs, for instance—what’s not to love?
First, the obvious: live music is amazing. But the real gem? There’s zero expectation to engage in pointless chatter at a concert, mainly because the music is too loud. You can lose yourself in the sound, recharge your energy battery by soaking up the music you love, and still be part of the scene, all with zero expectation to chat.
7. Tune Into Your Social Gauge
As I’ve said, being introverted doesn’t mean you’re antisocial or shy. Plenty of introverts (myself included) love hanging out with others—we’re just selective about our social scene. Give us deep, meaningful 1-on-1 conversations over shallow small talk at a noisy party any day.
Let’s not overlook the crucial recharging phase—knowing when your social battery is hitting empty is essential. You can protect your vibe and sidestep that dreaded social hangover by staying in tune with your social gauge, recognising energy-draining situations, and setting boundaries. Don’t be afraid to leave the party early or arrive late, and skip the small talk phase of the event if that’s your preference.
“Unapologetic self-care isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a necessity. So, start treating your energy like the precious resource it is, and watch how your life transforms!”
Don’t hesitate to say, “No thanks, I’d rather be home with my dog,” or “I’ll drive myself—gotta keep that escape plan handy!” Whatever you need to protect your energy, do it unapologetically. Take what you need without a second thought, and know I’m there with you, cheering you on!
Reflection Question
What’s one thing you can do today to better align your lifestyle with your introverted preferences? Write it down, make it a priority, and take that step unapologetically!
The benefits of aligning your lifestyle
Here’s the thing: when you finally start living in alignment with your true personality—embracing that beautiful introverted nature—you’ll unlock some seriously incredible benefits. And trust me, they’re worth every bit of that unapologetic self-care we discussed.
Natural Energy Boosts: Say goodbye to chugging down endless cups of coffee or grabbing another energy drink to get through the day. Your energy levels will gradually improve when you start living in tune with your introverted needs. Imagine waking up refreshed, without the need for artificial pick-me-ups, just because you’re finally giving your mind and body what they’ve been craving all along: peace and quiet.
Enhanced Creativity: Introverts are often deep thinkers, and when you give yourself the space to let your thoughts simmer, amazing things start to happen. You’ll find that creativity begins to flow effortlessly, as your mind is free to wander and explore without the constant buzz of external distractions. Whether it’s solving a problem, writing that novel, or just coming up with new ideas, your creative juices will be on fire. And let’s be real—there’s nothing like having a brilliant idea pop into your head when you’re in the middle of a peaceful moment.
Stronger Relationships: When you stop spreading yourself too thin and start focusing on quality over quantity in your social interactions, you’ll build deeper, more meaningful connections. Instead of trying to please everyone, you’ll find your tribe—the people who get you, appreciate your quiet strength, and value the deep conversations and genuine connections you bring to the table. And guess what? Those relationships are far more fulfilling and leave you feeling enriched, not drained. Because, let’s face it, life is too short for shallow connections and forced small talk.
Harnessing Focus: The Power of Perseverance
When you embrace your introversion and align your life accordingly, something magical happens: you gain the focus and capacity to persevere with your goals. Without the constant drain of external, unwanted stimuli, your mind is clear, and your energy is directed where it truly matters. You’re no longer distracted or depleted by the noise around you, so you can stay laser-focused on what’s important to you. Whether mastering a new skill, advancing your career, or pursuing a passion project, you’ll find that your ability to stick with your goals and see them through to the finish line is stronger than ever.
Aligning your life: a final thought
Ultimately, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between, living in alignment with your personality is key to unlocking natural energy and overall well-being. And once you start reaping the benefits, you’ll wonder why you ever tried to fit into someone else’s mould in the first place.
If you’re constantly tired and nothing seems to help, it might be time to consider whether your lifestyle is at odds with who you truly are.
Remember, personality is a spectrum, not a fixed label. Embrace the fluidity, but don’t ignore those dominant tendencies that can offer real clarity and “aha” moments. For me, realising I was an introvert who was trying to live as an extrovert was the breakthrough I needed. And now, I’m all about helping you find the clarity you need to live a life that doesn’t just look good on paper but feels right in your bones.
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Frequently Asked Questions
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Yes, it is completely normal to feel tired after socialising, especially for introverts. Social interactions, particularly those that require a lot of small talk or happen in large groups, can be mentally and emotionally draining. For introverts who prefer quieter, more solitary activities or socialising in ways that don’t require lots of small talk, the energy expended during prolonged socialising can lead to fatigue.
This doesn't mean anything is wrong with you—it's just a natural response to the demands of social engagement.
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Socialising can drain your energy because it requires you to be mentally present, engage in conversations, and often manage multiple social cues at once. These interactions can be particularly taxing for introverts, whose energy is typically recharged through alone time or solitary activities. The need to constantly be "on" in social situations can lead to what's known as a "social hangover," where you feel mentally and physically exhausted afterwards.
Curious if you’re an introvert? Check out the "Signs You Are An Introvert" section in the article above.
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Yes, many introverts do feel drained after socialising. This is because introverts recharge their energy by spending time alone, drawing strength from within rather than from external stimulation. It's important to note that being an introvert doesn't mean someone is antisocial or shy. Many introverts enjoy socialising, particularly with close friends or in small, intimate settings where conversations are more meaningful and less about superficial small talk.
However, extended social interactions can quickly deplete their energy reserves, leading to feelings of exhaustion and the need for solitude to recover.
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To avoid feeling exhausted after socialising, managing your energy levels proactively is important. Here are a few tips:
- Set boundaries: Limit your time in social situations and take breaks when needed.
- Choose your interactions: Engage in social activities that align with your energy levels, like one-on-one meetups or small group gatherings.
- Recharge afterwards: Schedule some alone time after social events to help you decompress and regain your energy.
- Practice mindfulness: Use techniques like deep breathing, EFT tapping or meditation to stay grounded during or immediately after social interactions.
For more detailed tips, check out the "How to Thrive as an Introvert in an Extroverted World" section in the article above.
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Introvert burnout often feels like a deep sense of exhaustion, both mentally and physically, after prolonged social interaction or overstimulation. You might feel fatigued, overwhelmed, irritable, or anxious and need to withdraw and spend time alone to recover. This kind of burnout can also lead to a lack of motivation, difficulty concentrating, and feeling "drained" even after a seemingly simple social event. Taking time to recharge and setting firm boundaries around social activities can help manage and prevent burnout.
For more detailed tips, check out the "How to Thrive as an Introvert in an Extroverted World" section in the article above.
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Jung, C. G. (1971). Psychological types (H. G. Baynes, Trans., Rev. by R. F. C. Hull). Princeton University Press. (Original work published 1921)
Cain, S. (2012, January 1). The Power of Introverts. Scientific American. Accessed 25th August 2024.
Wikipedia contributors. (n.d.). Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Accessed August 26th 2024.
Zelenski, J. M., Santoro, M. S., & Whelan, D. C. (2012). Would introverts be better off if they acted more like extraverts? Exploring emotional and cognitive consequences of counterdispositional behavior. Emotion, 12(2), 290–303. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0025169
Pickett, J., Hofmans, J., Feldt, T., & De Fruyt, F. (2020). Concurrent and lagged effects of counterdispositional extraversion on vitality. Journal of Research in Personality, 87, 103965. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2020.103965
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